Continuous

so it is 2:40am and I can't sleep (despite the benadryl that I took about and hour and a half ago) because I am on crazy night shift time, which I cannot seem to shake so easy... I just got that overwhelming feeling in my throat - I am an adult. with bills, retirement plans and benifits. I live in DC very far away from most of family and friends. I am standing at the beginning of the rest of my life. I think the last few weeks since being here, have felt like pretend. Sort-of like playing grown-up. You know when you are little and you play house. Well I have been 'playing grown-up' I am ready to not play for a little while and just go to Wrightsville beach, buy new school supplies and eat 2guys a few times a week...but it seems that I am not really pretending. No, I am actually doing it. I don't suppose one ever feels fully ready since now life isn't so prescriptive anymore. No more living for a year divided into semesters and summer breaks, I'm on continuous now...